you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
