ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
