Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize