You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
