i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
