So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
