is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
