Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
