dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
