I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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