"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
