She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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