They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
