i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I supernannyed him into submission
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
