all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize