Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
