Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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