That's intense
Screwed.edu
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Randomize
