By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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