I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
