Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
