I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
