11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize