She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize