What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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