Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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