even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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