Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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