Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
