Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize