i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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