just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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