how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
