Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he laminated a picture of his dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
