im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
