i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
