O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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