Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
