i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
