I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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