i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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