i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
