My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
