That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
