we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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