Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
