She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
