She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
