What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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