No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
