I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
