Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
