I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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