Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
BRING THE BAGELS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
