Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
