why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
This girl is more easily done than said...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize