Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
