remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
