Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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