Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize