tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
