Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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