Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
