i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
