He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
