Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
