Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
