why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
