if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
