Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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