her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
