He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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