I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
