Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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